Thank God for People a Lot Smarter than Me!

Thank God for People a Lot Smarter than Me!

August 5, 2017 Comedy Engineering 0

Like most people I’d like to think that I am reasonably intelligent. I was privileged to attend an excellent public high school, graduate college with a business degree, and obtain a law degree from one of the top law schools in the country. I have since practiced law for more than 30 years and seen and learned quite a bit during that stint. I also try to read a fair amount, to be engaged with what is going in the world, and to listen to others to gain the benefit of their wisdom, knowledge and unique perspectives.

And yet, despite all of that, the truth is I really don’t know shit!

I am embarrassed to say that among the many things that I don’t know include:

  1. How a car works (I drive the thing everyday and know how to turn it on and fill it with gas but I have no clue what actually causes the car to start and run; if I had to actually fix something other than change a tire I am utterly useless. And don’t even begin to discuss with me the intricacies how an airplane or the space shuttle works).
  2. How to a build a meaningful structure (I am fortunate to own a home and understand it’s made of some wood and brick and there is some drywall and insulation involved somewhere, but I don’t know the first thing about how to actually build a home, including a sturdy foundation and roof, much less incorporate plumbing, electrical and an HVAC system. Skyscrapers and bridges are way out of my intellectual league).
  3. How the human body functions (I can identify most of the parts of my body, generally know what they do, and can even use some of them to perform basic tasks in daily life. But the science of how all of our various organs and cells interact and blend so well together is largely beyond me. You certainly wouldn’t want me diagnosing or treating your medical condition).
  4. How we get electricity (The basic extent of my electrical knowledge is that I can flip on a light switch, maneuver my way effectively around a TV changer, and recharge my cellphone, but again I have no knowledge of how this miracle actually happens).
  5. How the phone and internet works (I can make and receive phone calls and send e-mails – I know, pretty impressive for a lawyer- but I am mystified how we can just pick up the phone and punch in a few numbers, or type messages, and reach the persons we wish instantaneously across the country and even the oceans as if they were standing next to us).

As far as I am concerned, the people who created, discovered and/or improved these inventions and ideas are geniuses. They are also heroes for making our lives so much easier, more fulfilling, and free to do things we love.

I often wonder if I had lived back in much earlier times, before all of these amazing discoveries, and if it was up to ME (and similar scientifically-impaired folks) to solve problems of food, shelter, health, comfort and communication, what the world would be like today? Suffice it to say things would look quite different.

For starters, we would be living in precariously constructed huts – freezing our asses off in the winter and hot as hell in the summer. A good storm or aggressive wind would have serious repercussions for the stability of any structure me and my fellow lugnuts designed.

Our clothes would be composed of scraps of anything we could get our hands on. I can assure you that no one would be asking what designer we were wearing on the runway of the Academy Awards (and there would not be any movies to watch in any case).

For food, our staple would consist of berries and nuts, a few choice insects, and other items that we discovered by trial and error would not kill us or give us a massive case of the runs. But I suspect most of our efforts to stave off hunger would depend on attempting to track and catch wild animals, while trying to avoid being eaten by other wild animals.

And God forbid one of us was caught and attacked by a wild boar, wildebeest or worse and survived and now needed major surgery. Even if one of the ME’s had the stomach and smarts to perform the procedure, I fear the anesthesia method might be a bit antiquated (See cartoon above).

Our communication methods would also be rudimentary- likely limited to a lot of shouting, throwing of rocks, and sending messages to neighboring villages through folks who excelled at the game of telephone.

The good news is that my fellow engineering-challenged comrades and me could sit around the campfire and debate our deplorable predicament with the best of them. We could describe with precision and colorful language our fragile world and pontificate our problems quite well. We could also joke and laugh and have a grand old time – at least when we were not starving, freezing or being eaten.

We also would not have to worry about suicide bombers or distant countries led by unstable leaders threatening to wipe us off the face of the earth – none of us would have the ability to create bombs or chemical weapons, much less drone missiles that target people sitting at a desk thousands of miles away. And as a further bonus we would not have to fret about our kids always being on the cell phone or getting in a car accident because these things would not exist either. My hypothetical world is actually looking better all the time.

But at the end of the day I’m not sure that I and my fellow ME’s could really do without all the amenities that we have come to expect, enjoy and take for granted. So I count my blessings every day for the engineers and scientists who are A LOT SMARTER THAN ME.